Road Trippin Preview

The Dudes-
If you are reading this you probably know both Rodimir and myself (Cojo), but if for some reason this blog has gone outside our circle of six friends you might want to check out the bio pages for a little background.

Cojo- http://roadtrippinusa.wordpress.com/about/
Rodimir- http://roadtrippinusa.wordpress.com/spence/

The Plan-
The basic scheme is that the two of us are going to get in my car and drive around the US for the next 3 months. We don’t really have a route or actual plan to speak of. We are going to be trying to stay off all major highways and interstates and experience what small town America has to offer.

Our starting point is Bellingham, Washington (which as far as I can tell is the farthest NW point in the continental US) and from there we are heading due south. We are going to be making stops as frequently as we can find distant relatives or obscure family friends to impose on. If we can’t find people to stay with we’ll be illegally camping on the side of the highway.

Along the way we plan to divide up our time between our 5 main trip focal points.

1. Seeking out and interviewing people we find to be “interesting”. These American heroes will be your mentally unstable, your grossly intoxicated, the annoyingly religious, and your good old fashioned Kooks.

2. Doing drugs (Mushrooms, acid, paint huffing, Quaaludes) in interesting locations (desert, mountain top, grandparents basement) and seeing what subsequently comes about. This one is pretty self explanatory.

3. Seeing some cool shit around the country (Grand Canyon, all dinosaur parks, World’s biggest tractor tire, Niagara Falls, funny named towns like “Weed, CA” and “Sodomy, WV”, you know stuff like that.

4. Go to as many comedy shows or other funny events (Evangelicals, NASCAR races, etc) as we can on the road.

5. Find peace of mind and our paths in life. By completing the first 4 objectives I see this one pretty much falling into place.

What we are bringing on the trip-
2- Dudes
1- Car
8- 30 liter totes with our shit in them
1- Video camera (we will be videoing pretty much everything we do)
1- Large Bag full of Weed, Mushrooms, and Acid
1- Larger bag full of unsalted almonds
1- Annoyingly positive attitude
1- Dangerously negative attitude

Known Destinations-
- Bellingham, WA (jump off)
- Seattle, WA
- Camas, WA (home of our buddy Sam, a large paper mill and nothing else)
- San Francisco, CA
- Cojo’s Uncles house in the Laguna Beach
- Santa Fe mescaline walk
- Glass thing that sticks out of Grand Canyon
- Bayou
- Any and all dinosaur parks in the continental United States
- A new dimension of thinking
- Also lots of other places

Some of the main goals for the trip-
- Find a new spiritual adviser in the form of an old homeless hippie who we pick up at a truck stop
- Not go to jail with a sentence longer than a month (at a time)
- Go on a vision quest in the dessert
- Try to survive in the wilderness for very small stretches of time
- Restore the good name of LSD which has been unfairly tarnished since its heyday of the 60’s.

This Website-
The main focus of this website is just going to be us telling the story of this road trip. I can’t promise this site is going to be funny at all, but I will say that everything we put on here will at least be loosely based on the truth or what we can remember of it. We are going to try and update as often as possible with stories, pictures, and videos from the road.

Besides all the stuff from this trip we are going to try and put up some other funny stuff. Such as…

1) Old Live journals from our past journeys
2) Funny pictures, videos, and links that we steal from other funny sites
3) Maybe some other random thoughts and stories we have heard or made up

Well that sort of covers it. Leave a comment or send us an email at BumHairCuts@gmail.com if you have anything funny to say or if you are just lonely.

Hittin the Road

After 2 months of vaguely discussing the possibility of a road trip we decided to complete all the necessary preparation on the date of our departure. “All necessary preparation” consisted of me throwing my 3 pairs of clothes in the trunk, finding a camcorder and purchasing a sizeable amount of marijuana. Luckily, living in a predominantly hippie town a half and hour from the Canadian border we were able to track down our most important supply within the hour. All we had to do was drive 20 minutes out of town to a house which had last been inhabited in 1978 by a local cocaine czar. The dealer we did business with preferred to be called by his self-given nickname of Dizzle. So we buy our weed from Dizzle and he offers/challenges us to roll matching blunts then proceeds to smoke the vast majority of both like only a two fisting blunt addict can do. After declining Dizzle’s invitation to “give him hand” by picking up a few bottles sitting around his house we were finally prepared to get one last meal and night of normal sleep at my parents’ house before we hit the road. Much to my parent’s chagrin I was going to be going on the road trip with the same person who had been there for a majority of my major downfalls in life (see Delta Chi Fraternity, 4th of July at the old Submarine Inn and subsequent Jail sentence for trespassing). They overlooked Corey’s ability to bring the worst out of me, however, because he was willing to take me far away from them for an extended period of time. As a sign of appreciation, my mother prepared us the standard going away meal of lamb chops, other funny items, and a hobo-sized bottle of wine from Costco to take the edge off. We had little time to chat during this feast due to my family’s unquenchable thirst for alcohol but the limited conversation consisted of my parents’ thinly-veiled criticisms caused by over twenty years of a failing marriage and my mom’s worries about my lack of the necessary wife acquiring skills and my dad’s life stories explaining his hatred of authority. The next morning we packed up the car and set off on our life-altering super-journey.

Official Road Trip Theme Song